25 Nov

This post is long over-due.  I intended to share this information with everyone before Theo came home but with two weeks in Ethiopia, then barely two weeks home before Theo arrived, time slipped away from me.  The dynamics of cocooning and attachment are incredibly important in adoption so I’d like to take some time to explain how this pertains to our family and what things will look like for us in the coming weeks, months and even years.

After over 4 1/2 years in the adoption process, and a year of knowing his name and face — Theodore Samuel Roba is finally HOME.  If you are reading this letter you have, in some way, supported, loved and prayed for us. You are our village and we are so grateful to you!  Because we know your care for Theo and our family, we want to be honest and open about what our life looks like right now and some boundaries we need to set up to help Theo cultivate a strong, healthy and lasting attachment to us.

Cocooning is an adoption term that refers to the period of time after a child comes home that the family hunkers down and focuses on intense bonding and attachment.  It is quite intense at first as we attempt to make Theo’s world very “small” by not leaving our home (except for his doctors appointments) and not allowing people to come over and meet him, even close family members.  Be doing this we can create a predictable, stable environment where Theo can learn who his family is, what parents are, learn to trust us and begin to attach.

Adoption is a beautiful, miraculous thing.  But before this beautiful thing can happen to a child and family, extreme loss is experienced by the child.  Theo has already experienced more loss and trauma than every member of our family combined.  For nearly 5 years we have researched bonding and attachment in adopted children, especially those coming from a traumatic background including living in an institutional orphanage setting, exposure to malnourishment, starvation and neglect, loss of biological family, and much more.

Although we know Theo has been raised in less than ideal circumstances, to him the orphanage in Ethiopia was home. The children and nannies were his family and all that he has ever known. Coming home to us meant leaving everything that was familiar to him:
~ language
~ climate
~ familiar faces (and skin color)
~ food
~ culture
~ routine (even if it’s a lack of one)
~ environment (his room, his friends, his bed, his clothes)
~smells and sights
~familiar caregivers

Everything around him is new and he has learn not just about his new environment, but also about love and family. Culture shock is real, and it deeply affects internationally adopted children of ALL ages!  Theo has not experienced God’s design for a family in an orphanage setting.  It is all quite overwhelming for anyone to take in, especially a little guy!

Attachment is a critical concept in parenting any child successfully. But attachment is THE critical concept in successfully parenting an adopted child. Attachment is TRUST building.  In a healthy biological family, secure attachment and trust forms when parents consistently meet the child’s physical, mental, emotional and social needs. Baby cries, his needs are met and he learns trust through this cycle. Over time as this expression of need by the child and nurturing response from the parent are repeated, attachment and trust are formed. Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process as well as other traumas. The loss of a biological mother at an early age can be a major trauma on their little hearts.  In response to these traumas/neglect/abandonment/hunger/etc, their brain has developed in a way that causes them to see the world around them as a dangerous place.  They have actually been “wired” to operate their daily life in the brain stem, or “fight or flight” mode.  The science behind it is very fascinating, albeit devastating to read about.  The best way for us to form a parent/child bond is to be the ones to hold, snuggle, instruct, soothe and feed Theo-basically to meet all his needs. As this repeats between us, he will eventually be able to accept our love and return it, and learn that parents are to trust. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection. Once Theo starts to establish this important bond with us, he will then be able to branch out to other healthy relationships.

Theo is coming to us after two years of life experience and multiple losses. This is a pattern that he will likely expect to repeat itself. Building attachment with an adopted child is slow, hard work.  It takes years but we are confident that God’s Spirit will be working in and through us to bring healing to Theo and knit our hearts with his.

Children who have lost or never experienced the love of a parent can often have difficulty trusting that their needs will be met. The part of the brain that is attacked by early childhood trauma is the same area of the brain that is responsible for attachment in human relationships.  That means we literally need to retrain Theo’s brain toward healthy attachment. We’ll need to help him relearn the real role of a mom and a dad. Parents provide food and shelter. Parents provide comfort and security. Parents don’t leave you (and if they do leave for a short time, they will always come back). He needs to learn that Josh and I are the ONLY ones who will meet his needs, and that he doesn’t need to look to other strangers or even other family members because we will never leave him or let him down in that area.  We get it, but for a former orphan, the concept is hard to fathom.  Even if he was old enough to have a decent conversation with, these are not things you can simply explain to a former orphan or traumatized child.  The brain literally has to be rewired through the hard, monotonous and faithful work of connected attachment parenting.

He’ll need time to develop a connection to our family and to trust that we are safe. He’ll need extra patience and love as the Lord heals the wounds of his past.

So what does cocooning look like for the Timmer family?

In these first weeks home, we’ll stay home with Theo as much as possible, attempting to create an environment that is calm, predictable, and comforting. I do not know exactly how long this will last.  Adoption experts suggest one month of cocooning for every year the child spends in an orphanage.  So that would be 2 months in our situation.  We plan to be pretty strict in our cocooning practices for the first 2-3 weeks, then to slowly widen Theo’s world by introducing close family and friends in small groups at a time and venturing out of the house for errands, shopping, church, etc.

Cocooning looks like this…

  • We’ll avoid parties and large gatherings.
  • When we do return to church, we won’t put Theo in the nursery for quite some time.
  • We’ll introduce new people in moderation and only when he is comfortable with us. When we introduce new people, we’ll do so in small groups of one or two.
  • Only Josh and I will pick up, hold, hug, or kiss Theo. In the beginning, these displays of affection are reserved for Josh and I.  This will last for much longer than 2 months.  Possibly the first year?  I plan to re-evaluate every few months.
  • Only Josh or I should give things to Theo, ESPECIALLY FOOD. This will also last for MONTHS.
  • Only Josh or I should meet Theo’s needs (baths, putting him to bed, change diapers, etc). And again, this will continue long after we return to “life as normal”.

This all might sound over-protective or paranoid, but please understand that we’re following the advice of adoption professionals, experts and medical doctors. We want nothing more than for you to be able to hug and love on Theo the way we have your own kids, and the way you love on Giselle.  We just need to give time for this most important relationship – the one he has with Josh and I – to form a solid foundation.

We are incredibly blessed to have such a supportive and loving family and community around us.  If you have any questions about the attachment process or this season of cocooning, please don’t hesitate to ask! And continue to lift us all up in your prayers.  We love you all so much!  



Getting Theo Home

9 Nov

As of 4:30am this morning, we have officially cleared Embassy!!  This means we can make our VISA interview appointment and book tickets to bring Theo home.  HUGE PRAISE to our awesome God!

Our original plan was to fly back to Ethiopia and bring Theo home.  I was going to bring my sister and Josh planned to stay home with Giselle.  We thought it would be less disruptive for her if only one parent was gone for the 2nd trip and better for all of us if both Josh and I weren’t jetlagged after arriving home with Theo.  Well, our plans have changed a little (ok, a LOT) and God has woven together a truly unexpected and beautiful story to bring Theo home.

Our dear friend, Marcy Connett, will be flying Theo from Addis Ababa to Washington DC on Friday.  I will fly to DC, meet them at the airport and fly home with Theo to Seattle.  Marcy and her husband, along with their two teenage children, are missionaries in Addis.  They have been in Ethiopia for about 15 months.  I spent a lot of time with Marcy while I was in Ethiopia and talked with her almost every day while I was there.  She was a great support and encouragement to me while I was there.

Having Theo escorted to the USA was NOT my original plan or something I ever considered before last week.  To be honest, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea and had many mixed feelings at first.  It was something our agency suggested because of the unique circumstances of our case — a very long first trip to Ethiopia, a very short amount of time between the two trips, and a young, needy bio child at home who can’t possibly understand what is going on and why her mommy keeps leaving her.  Giselle stayed with my parents for two weeks while we were in Ethiopia and, for the most part, did wonderfully.  During that time we did not communicate directly with Giselle at all.  I talked with my mom almost daily and Giselle got to see pictures of Josh and I with Theo, but we all felt it would be too confusing and disruptive for Giselle if we tried to talk with her while we were away.  In addition, my parents don’t have reliable internet and neither did I, so using Skype or facetime while in country would have been difficult.

Although Giselle did pretty great while I was gone, she has REALLY struggled since I got back.  She’s been incredibly needy, clingy and whiny.  I know that if I left again after such a short time being home (and I’d be gone for almost 1 week), she would be legitimately traumatized.  Add to that my stress level, being jetlagged, and the addition of a scared, needy and sick newly adopted son —> an already difficult adjustment period would be compounded 10 fold.  Theo is going to need a lot of extra attention and care when he comes home and I need Giselle to be as secure and well-adjusted as possible.

It was hard for me to let go of the things I would miss out on by not taking the second trip — visiting Ethiopia one more time, saying a final goodbye to the nannies at Theo’s transition home, seeing our agencies staff once again. I got to spend a lot of time in that beautiful country and that makes me both want to go back there, and also not want to travel that far from home again any time soon. I also want to be a part of EVERY SINGLE PIECE of this process because it is our son’s story, including another grueling trip there and back to bring him home, while at the same time I know our case is unique and I need to make a decision that is going to be the best for our family as a whole in the long run (fully rest mommy vs. jet-lagged/stressed out/emotionally drained mommy, well-adjusted bio toddler ready to welcome baby brother home vs. super freaked out bio toddler because her mommy keeps leaving her and can’t understand why, etc, etc).  I’ve spoken with many other adoptive parents and asked them for advice on this decision.  The feedback has been unanimous — Having a close friend escort Theo to DC is a fantastic option and a huge blessing for our family!  Many of these moms have also told me that no real and beneficial attachment/bonding happened on the 2nd trip because it is such a stressful time for everyone involved.  This feedback has really helped to calm my heart!

All things considered, God has given us the most PERFECT escort situation.  As soon as Marcy heard that my agency suggested an escort to fly Theo home, she enthusiastically volunteered herself.  She has also been able to visit Theo at his transition home a few times so he will be familiar with her for the flight home.  Such a blessing!!! Her mom left yesterday to visit Marcy’s family in Ethiopia and drove right past my house on her way to the airport.  I was able to give her a box of things for Theo and Marcy’s trip home (clothes, toys, snacks and other travel essentials).  The timing of everything has worked out perfectly — all evidence of God’s handiwork.

We are looking at flights right now!  We’ve requested a Thursday VISA appointment at the Embassy and are hoping for Marcy and Theo to leave Ethiopia on Friday, Nov 13th.  Depending on what time their flight arrives in DC, I might have to spend one night there with Theo before flying to Seattle.  Regardless, he should be home by Sunday, Nov 15th.  I’ll post the exact time we fly into SeaTac when we have our itinerary.  All our friends and family are invited to meet us at the airport and welcome us home!!!

Dear Theo

2 Oct

Dear Theo,

In exactly two weeks I’m going to get on a plane, fly across the world, and set foot in the country that has been your home for almost 2 years.  Your first home, but not your forever home.  I have wanted you for so long.  I’ve wanted you for longer than I’ve wanted anything else that I can remember.  I wanted you before I wanted to marry your daddy.  I wanted you before I wanted to go to college or play soccer or have a career as a pastor, missionary or teacher.  I even wanted you before I wanted your older sister.  Shhh…don’t tell her I said that. ;)

You were one of the first things that I knew I really wanted.

Someday, when you’re a wide-eyed 8 year old and you tell me about a dream God has put in your heart, I’ll believe you. I won’t doubt it for a second. I’ll hang on every word.  Because that’s how old I was when God put a dream about adopting YOU in my heart.

About a month ago I found out you were really sick.  Too weak to eat, so we made sure you were admitted to the hospital.  There were oceans in between us and I grieved for all that you had already lost and all the times you needed a mommy by your side, but I wasn’t there.  I wondered if I would lose you before I even had a chance to meet you and it kept me awake a night for weeks.  Sitting by your hospital bedside seemed to be the only acceptable and most impossible solution in that situation.

I think about you all the time.  Many thoughts and feelings run through my heart and mind.  One that repeatedly slices through my consciousness is “surrender to love”.  At first, I thought it was meant for you.  It has been my prayer for you — that you would surrender to love.  To our love and to the Great Love that called you before the foundations of the world.  I know it will be hard to accept our love.  You’ll be scared and confused and unable to trust us at first because of all you’ve already lost.  But over time I pray you will lean into us and little by little, surrender to all that Love has to offer you.

“Surrender to love” — that is my prayer for you.  But now I’m realizing that it is meant for me as well.  As I anticipate your homecoming I feel a loss of control.  My life is about to change forever and I have no idea what it is going to look like.  I can already feel normalcy slipping away.  I feel an acute sense of powerlessness.  Yet, with every anxious and panicked thought, God whispers back, “surrender to Love“.  Surrender to all the heights and depths that this path of Love has ahead of us.  Surrender fully.  Press in.  Sink deep.  Get swept away.  Surrender to the overwhelming, take everything you’ve got, in over your head, deeply sacrificial, never give up commitment it takes to LOVE an orphan.  I have the perfect example because this is how God has loved me.

It’s hard to believe that I’ll be meeting you face-to-face in only two weeks.  24 years ago God wove adoption into my heart.  4 years and 7 months ago we sent the first email that started this whole process.  Now one of the most anticipated days of my life is barely over a dozen days away.

I feel excited.
I feel anxious.
I feel scared
I feel giddy.
I feel expectant.
I feel nervous.
I feel overwhelmed.

There’s a millions things I want you to know RIGHT NOW and never forget.  I pray that each day you’re in this family you will understand more and more that…

You are a gift of God
You were given by God
You are desired
You were asked for
You were prayed for
You are highly valued
You are a dream come true
You are full of promise
You are constantly thought about
You are not a mistake
You are not forgotten
You are ached for
You are a treasure
And you’re so stinking cute.

Let’s surrender to Love together.  :)

Yours forever,

Sweet Theo goes back to the O.

17 Sep

Hello, Village.

I apologize for the radio silence.  I have been so overwhelmed and have not had the (emotional or mental) energy to sit down and write about what’s going on.  This is a stressful season for sure — remodeling the garage to create more living space for our family, my growing and very busy Etsy business, potty training Giselle, navigating all the typical boundary testing and tantrums that come from having a 2 yr old feisty female, preparing to travel to Ethiopia, preparing to bring Theo home, trying to anticipate what his health needs will be and how we will pay for that, bracing myself for cocooning and how Theo’s arrival will affect Giselle, etc, etc.  But more than all these things combine, the most overwhelming aspect of all of this is living each day with the fact that my child is in another country, in harm’s way, and there is nothing I can do about it.  It’s a very crippling feeling.  YES, I know God is in control.  YES, I know he is in God’s hands.  But that does not erase the fact that my son has experienced major loss, trauma and severe malnutrition.  It is a fact that he has and IS suffering.  I trust and believe God is good and in control, but that doesn’t mean bad things aren’t happening to my child.  God will carry us all through and I have no doubt that He will be glorified in the process but it still hurts a lot. I lose sleep over this reality EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.

Nevertheless, it’s so important to me to keep a current journal of every step of this process.  We document our pregnancies so well and I want the story of Theo’s journey into our family to be documented and remembered – even the painful parts.

As most of you know, we were very concerned about Theo’s health after we saw some photos of him at the end of July.  The first week of August he was taken to a pediatric clinic and examined by a doctor.  Here’s the quick facts:Roba2

  • He was brought to the Pommy Clinic in Addis by our agency representative and examined by the doctor in early August and diagnosed with Acute Severe Malnutrition.
  • The doctor prescribed a strict, high-nutrient feeding schedule and said that he needed to be brought to a “feeding center” which is the technical term for an orphanage.  In other words, Theo was so severely malnourished that the doctor did not realize he already was living in a “feeding center”!!!  AHH!
  • Theo was admitted to the Pommy Clinic (the pediatric hospital that is run by the doctor my agency uses in Ethiopia) and hooked up to a feeding tube right away.  He was too weak and listless to eat and the nannies at his orphanage told my agency rep “he won’t eat anymore.  We try but he won’t eat.”  The doctor didn’t want to fight him to take a bottle so they put him on a feeding tube right away.  I think he was only on the feeding tube for maybe one or two days because a couple days after he was admitted to the hospital I got pictures of him with an empty bottle next to him.
  • He weighed 14.7 lbs (at 21.5 months) when he was admitted to the hospital. He cannot walk, stand or crawl (that I know of) and looked too weak to sit up without assistance.
  • He stayed in the hospital Aug 20-Sept 4.  We wanted him to stay longer but the doctor felt like he should release Theo back to the Orphanage to make room for sicker children to be admitted to the clinic.  I understand but I was really bummed about this!
  • While in the hospital he received lots of food and 24/7 care from his own personal nanny that was hired by my agency.  The change we saw in him was DRAMATIC.  Food and love can do a lot!  Within just a couple days in the hospital, he was cuddling with his nanny, smiling, strong enough to eat on his own, and gaining weight.
  • He gained 3.3 lbs while in the hospital and weighed 17lbs when he went back to the orphanage on Sept 4.  Pictures and videos from his last week in the hospital show him smiling, reaching for things, comfortably sitting up on his own, and cuddling into the safety of his nanny’s arms when “strangers” (aka other adoptive families who went to check on him for me while they were in country) tried to reach for him and touch him.  I have never been so happy to see a child exhibit “stranger danger”.
I got several pictures and videos of him the day before he was admitted to the hospital.  He looked awful.  Listless, vacant, and very very sad.  To say my heart was breaking is the understatement of the century.  Thankfully, I knew he was in excellent care at the hospital and getting lots of love from his very own nanny, 24/7.  I have pictures and videos of him in the weeks he spent at the hospital and it is obvious that he was starting to bond with his nanny.  Knowing this is the best feeling and the worst feeling in the world.  It is AWESOME that he is able to bond to a caregiver, because that is a really good sign for him being able to bond and attach to us when he comes home.  But I have lost many hours of sleep thinking about how terrifying it must be for him to leave his nanny and go back to the orphanage, and have no idea why.  Traumatic.  I am grieving with him and for him over the amount of loss he has already experienced in his short life.
At this point, there is not a lot we can do.  Our agency is keeping a close eye on him and have promised me that they will check on him every week and relay photo updates as well as his weight and measurements.  If he starts to get sick or lose weight again, we will put him right back in the hospital.
Our court date is Oct 20th and we’ll be arriving in Ethiopia on Oct 17th.  I can hardly believe that I will be meeting my son in only ONE MONTH.  ONE month!!!  It is crazy!  We are aching to have him in our arms.  I will stay in Ethiopia for almost 2 weeks after our court date.  After we pass court we will have legal guardianship and be able to move him to a better orphanage.  I plan to visit him every day and feed him A LOT while I’m there.  When we come back home it will only be 2-3 weeks (maybe less??) before we get to return to Ethiopia and bring him home FOREVER!  More details on all that to come!

Gaining Weight & Doing Great!!

26 Aug

YOU GUYS!!!!!!

I just got an update from my agency– Theo is doing great and gaining weight in the hospital!!!  I received 4 new photos and the original report from his visit to the doctor last week before he was admitted to the hospital.  The report doesn’t say much, it is just a one page form with his name, age, gender, weight/height/head cir. and his diagnosis, which is “acute severe malnutrition”.

Theo is 21 months old.  His weight upon admittance to the hospital was 14.7 lbs, length was 24 inches.  I’m excited to see how he grows in the coming weeks!!

The doctor wrote on his report that Theo needed to be admitted to a “feeding center”.  What he meant in an orphanage (technically, they are called a “feeding center”).  The sad thing is he didn’t realized the Theo had already been in a “feeding center”.  That’s how bad the malnutrition was.  SO thankful he is in the hospital now.

The pictures of him are glorious. SIMPLY GLORIOUS!!  I wish I could share them because he is, indeed, the cutest baby alive.  Ever.  Cutest baby to ever live.  NO I’m not biased.  He is smiling in the pictures and even resting his head on a woman’s leg all cuddly-like in one of the pics (I’m assuming this lucky lady is his nanny).  I’m SUPER jealous of this lady, but glad she is there to snuggle my boy when I can’t!  He looks so much better already.

Feeding Tube

24 Aug
On Saturday morning I got an update from our caseworker on Theo’s condition.  Our in-country staff is not working on the weekend but they called the doctor directly to get an update so that I would not have to wait until Monday.
The doctor says he is doing “fine” but they had to insert a feeding tube.  He is too weak and/or too sick to eat and the doctor did not want to risk fighting him to take a bottle. The feeding tube is pumping nutrients directly into his stomach and when he is stronger, they will try to get him to take a bottle.  The doctor also said that when Theo has recovered and is strong enough to be discharged, he is happy to continue to let Theo stay as long as we want, as long as there is room and they don’t need his bed for another sick child.  That is all we know for now.  My agency is working on getting all the other details about Theo’s condition, what he’s being treated for, how long the doctor expects for his recovery, the estimated cost of his care, etc, etc.
I hate to think about the fact that Theo was wasting away in the orphanage and none of us knew.  If Robyn hadn’t asked EVERY DAY to be taken to visit him a few weeks ago when she was in country, we wouldn’t have known.  And the orphanage wasn’t forthcoming with any information, that’s for sure!  We have never gotten any information about his weight or health from them.  Because of this, I am feeling SUPER cautious about getting frequent and thorough updates on how he is doing.  I’ve emailed my agency a list of what I’m expecting in the realm of communication from now on:
1. Weekly updates on his health progress and weight gain, height, head circumference.
2. Photos (with the weekly updates) of Theo in his diaper, including a photo of him hooked up to a feeding tube right now.
3. 100% complete unfiltered transparency about his health and situation.  If the truth is ugly, I want to hear it.  Please DO NOT try to “spare” me any details that you think will upset me too much.  I need to be prepared to care for him when he gets home and am already consulting with the International Adoption medical clinic here in Seattle.  The more info I can give them, the better they can prepare us for what Theo will need when he gets home.  There are no international adoption specialist in our health insurance network, but if I can prove the need for a specialist, our health insurance will cover the costs of an IA Pediatrician after Theo comes home.  So the more info I have now, the better.
4. Permission for missionary friends and other adoptive families to visit Theo in the hospital.  I have two missionary friends there who would love to visit Theo for me.  Also several families will be traveling for Embassy in the next couple weeks and all of them are willing to visit him for me, if possible.  For me, the more people who see him in person, take pictures of him and can just let me know how he’s doing — the better!
5. Any and all medical reports from the doctors, including the one from his doctor appointment on Tuesday (still waiting on translation???), the assessment of his condition after being checked in, etc.  I want to know EVERYTHING he is being treated for and every part of his diagnosis.
6. A current report on his development milestones.  For instance, can he stand up? Crawl? Walk?  No one has been able to tell me this but it should be obvious information to anyone who spends more then two minutes with him.
7. Lastly, I want to be alerted immediately if his condition takes a turn for the worst or if he is not getting better.  At the risk of sounding paranoid or fatalistic, I need to say this.  If he is not going to get better and his life is at risk, I want to know immediately and will be traveling at once to be with him in person.  I just need to get this on the table – if he is going to die, I want to be by his bedside holding him when it happens.  As unlikely as this scenario may seem, we all know it is possible and I just have to say that.
I will keep this blog updated whenever I get new info.  Depending on the cost of his medical care, we may set up a Care Fund for those who would like to donate.  Several people have already asked me about this.  We have NEVER asked for money during this adopting process.  We have done a couple of small fundraisers (garage sales, the Skirt Sale I did in the spring, cape fundraiser) that raised a small fraction of our adoption costs by selling products that people wanted to buy.  Josh and I knew we wanted to adopt before we got married, so we’ve been saving since the day we tied the knot.  Through a lot of hard work, sacrifice and budgeting we have saved the majority of the $30k+ we needed for this adoption, but this medical care is an extra cost that we didn’t anticipate.  For that reason it may be necessary for us to set up a Care Fund and humbly ask for support from anyone who feels led to give financially. I will let you all know if we get to that point.
Again, thank you so much for the outpouring of love, encouragement and prayers during this time.  It has been a very stressful season.  Many of you have asked how I’m doing.  Well….I’m doing about as well as you could expect for a mother who has a child in the hospital, hooked up to a feeding tube, in another country.  Some days I am seriously fine and am resting in the confidence that Theo is getting the care he needs from an excellent doctor.  Other days you can find me sobbing in my car in the parking lot of Joann Fabrics, trying to pull myself together long enough to walk into the store and buy Seahawks fabric for the skirts being ordered off my Etsy site.  All the while my extremely empathetic 2-yr old in the back seat is asking in a concerned voice, “Mommy??  WHY you crying?  Are you sad, Mommy?  Mommy, why you sad?”   I’ve gained 7lbs in the past 3 weeks from stress, so that is really cool too.  This is extremely frustrating to me because it’s taken me all summer to lose 3lbs (YES, I am still trying to lose the baby weight from having Giselle over 2 yrs ago) BUT if I needed to go through that much stress and chaos in my life in order to get my baby in a hospital and SAVE HIS LIFE, then you know what I say? Bring on the fat pants.
Because, adoption.

Protected: About the “good news” I got earlier….

19 Aug

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